The definition of strange
by roxyfire57
Summary: Vegeta has a point. The world of DBZ Earth is just too damn confusing. Set in 'those three years', also relating to the growing relationship between Vegeta and Bulma. New cover added! Drew it myself :D
1. Chapter 1

**Tomorrow I have my language papers, wish me luck! Wanted to post this after looking at an Instagram meme. Anyways, hope you enjoy it! **

"So... let me get this straight."

Bulma raises an eyebrow at the normally stoic saiyan prince, who was completely out of character. For one, he had decided to leave his habitat known as the gravity room, for another his emotionless façade was now replaced by a genuinely confused look as he gazed at the news channel on the television.

"Almost half of Earth's population are animals that are capable of speech and work, yet the majority of the other creatures of the same species are seemingly mindless pets sitting at home waiting to be coddled. There are demons and monsters living in the woods and roaming around unsupervised. The Earth's 'king', is a talking dog. There are dinosaurs all over the place even though according to historical records, they have supposedly been extinct for millions of years until one day they magically reappeared. People who have died as a result of explosions and fights have somehow been resurrected, and continue living their monotonous lives without questioning their existence. Amazing feats of strength and destruction have been displayed by Kakarot and his foolish comrades during the past tournaments, and after witnessing them collapse from fatal injuries they find it normal when they jump up unharmed to continue the battle after consuming a tiny green bean."

Bulma sipped her coffee, amused.

"But you earthlings have followed me, tracked me down, spied on me, publicized this little incident all over the news and made a big deal out of this ridiculous thing, just because they saw me flying?!"

Bulma set her mug down, a smile playing at her lips.

"Yes."

Vegeta threw his hands up in frustration, desperation in his eyes, as he stormed up towards his room, the gravity room being off limits due to the reporters swarming around the ship.


	2. Chapter 2

**Another dbz mystery I'm constantly wondering about. Please Review!**

Vegeta stormed into the lab, towards the desk where Bulma sat.

"I know, I know. Your new training bots will be ready soon, okay? Just give me an hour." Bulma called out, not bothering to turn around.

The saiyan snorted and shoved a book in front of her face.

Bulma blinked. "Is that a history book?"

"No! Look at this!" Vegeta snarled and pointed towards a picture. Bulma took the book from his hands and started scanning through the pages, observing the various pictures.

"Why would you humans replace an object of obviously better quality with one bulkier item that doesn't work as well? Does evolution run backwards on Earth?! The slimmer design is the better one, yet you earthlings replaced it with the smaller yet heavier device! That's like choosing a 1900s computer to a laptop! Wait... that's exactly what you humans did in this case! Your planet-its so confusing!"

Bulma blinked. She didn't know what shocked her more-the fact that Vegeta read books, or the fact that he made sense.

"Oh I don't know. There must be some fault with the design or something."

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Tch, you humans are ridiculous. I expect the training droids in an hour. That annoying paparazzi took up a lot of training time."

Bulma watched him stalk out of her lab with the history book, then shrugged. After all, there must be a reason they stopped making flat screen TVs, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**The more I think about it, the more I am confused, like poor Vegeta here. Some more questions to think about:) Wish me luck for my math paper tomorrow!**

"What is he?"

Bulma turned over too look at Vegeta, taking off her sunglasses. "What?"

The saiyan prince, who had taken a break from his all out training sessions since destroyed the gravity chamber after pushing it too hard, had -in a very rare, once in a lifetime occasion- joined Bulma in sunbathing (or as Vegeta put it, increasing his heat tolerance in case of future fights in the desert).

"You know, him. Three eyes."

Bulma cocked an eyebrow. "Tien?"

"Whatever," Vegeta snorted. "He seems to pass off as a human, as evident in his Ki level and pattern, but he has three eyes. Is it some form of genetic mutation or the horrible result of a failed science experiment? That... thing on his forehead is clearly attached to his body as an organ, but none of you humans possess a third eye. Unless he artificially attached that thing onto his forehead, which is highly unlikely, what exactly is he? Is he a human or not?"

"Hm, I never really thought of that, I guess," Bulma chewed the edge of her sunglasses, lying back down and closing her eyes. She let out a sigh of contentment feeling the Sun's rays warm her skin. "After all, he is a friend of mine. It never really mattered to me that he had a third eye, as long as he was on our side. I mean, back then I didn't really wonder much more about Goku's tail-it was just there, and after a while I got used to it. Well, except the times that he would turn into a were-ape."

"Oozaru," Vegeta corrected, crossing his arms and he stared up into the blue sky. It was his favorite color, more specifically dark royal blue, but he realized he quite enjoyed... lighter shades as well. He turned his head slightly to the right to see Bulma's long aqua tresses flowing down the curves of her body, framing her angelic face and complementing her milky skin, and-he mentally slapped himself.

"Then how about the bald one?" He asked, trying to get his mind of... certain things. It was no help that she was scantily clad in a bikini, in the deck chair beside him.

Bulma flipped over, lying on her stomach so her back could get a tan. "Krillen?"

Vegeta nodded, although he knew Bulma could not see it. "His nose. It's... absent."

She giggled. "Heh, I asked him about that before, but he said he didn't really have a clue. I guess it's the same reason why Tien had a third eye, I guess. He's human though. And how he manages to breathe is still a mystery."

"Hn." Vegeta closed his eyes, somewhat enjoying his 'break' with the woman. "The midget, then."

Bulma cracked open an eye to see Vegeta in a relaxed position, his hands behind his head, and managed a small smile. Midget? He didn't mean Krillen... She was used to having people refer to her bald friend as the midget in their odd group, but Vegeta was talking about someone else... who could be smaller than Krillen? Hmm... Aha!

"Chaiotzu?"

Vegeta grunted, which Bulma recognized as an affirmative. She had learnt to read the saiyan prince's various noises and their meanings over the year when he expressed his thoughts using nothing more than simple sounds.

"He used to be an emperor, actually. I guess he's human too. I suppose he uses a lot of makeup or something... that's probably why he looks so pale all the time, and with ridiculously red cheeks. He also knows telekinesis. But that seems normal to me, when you have tons of friends flying and shooting Ki balls out of their palms without breaking a sweat. "

"Does he not undergo puberty?"

"What?" Bulma flipped over again.

"That... Chaotue. According to you, you have known him from ten years ago, and he still looks and sound the same. Considering he was an adolescent back then, shouldn't he have matured by now? Why is his stature so tiny, and his voice so insanely squeaky? Is he fated to stay a child forever?"

Bulma blinked. "I have no idea."

"And," Vegeta rolled to his side to face her, his mind full of boggling questions. "what about that lecherous old man? How old is he? As far as I can tell, he lived many times beyond the life expectancies of many humans and is still active. That is not natural, no?"

"He mentioned something about taking an immortality pill back then..." Bulma tapped her chin with a finger.

Vegeta didn't seem to mind the prospect of gaining immortality anymore, he had just needed it to defeat Frieza before. Now that the tyrant was dead, the idea of eternal life was quite unappealing, especially when he didn't have anything to rule over. Vegeta wasn't sure if he could handle being the last saiyan for eternity.

"Tch, then about that talking pig and floating cat."

"Oolong and Pu'ar are both shapeshifting animals. I don't know why they can talk. Or shapeshift." Bulma sighed. "In fact, I don't even know why Pu'ar can float."

Vegeta nodded. "The pig. Why does he take... special interest in human females, and not females of his own species?"

"Um..." Bulma racked her head for a logical explanation. "They don't have... talking girl pigs?"

At this, Vegeta shot her a confused look. "The pig can communicate with humans, but not with his own species?"

Bulma threw her hands up in exasperation. "Oh gosh, Vegeta, you ask too much!"

She sighed, "I don't know... I never though to question thing like this before. They just were, you know. It seemed natural, so we just let it be. Haven't you asked yourself why your hair stands up straight like that?"

Vegeta thought for a while. "No," he admitted.

Bulma giggled. She found it cute when Vegeta looked genuinely confused, as he had frequently over the past month.

"Oh well, I'm going inside to get a drink. You coming?"

Vegeta shrugged and stood up, following Bulma into Capsule Corporation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Not that much entertaining as the last two. Is it just me, or does anyone else wonder how Kami's lookout came to be? (RHYMEE)**

The last he saw, the saiyan prince and his girlfriend were about to lunge at each other's throats just being in the same room, and it took all his effort to calm Bulma down so she would not yell at and get blasted by her temperamental and super-strong house guest.

So it was quite a shock, really, to see them engaging in a very engrossing discussion so much that neither of them, not even Vegeta, had noticed he had arrived for the past five minutes, and the poor human stood there listening in.

"-you mean you never, not even once, wondered about who built it?" Vegeta's voice was, oddly, non-threatening and he might dare say, curious.

"Oh come on Vegeta. It was just there. I figured that Kami made it or something."

"...but how does it even balance itself? That thing is huge and heavy, yet it's weight is entirely centered on that pole thing... It doesn't even topple when extra weight lands on it."

"Um... Given that Kami can control Earth's forces, I guess he just controls the air density around the lookout so it remains stable..."

Vegeta thought for a while.

"How did that namekian land on Earth anyhow?"

"Well, Mr Popo told me this story before," Bulma runs a hand through her hair, "Kami was sent in a spaceship from planet Namek because there was some disease spreading, and they wanted to keep him alive. This explains why there are so few namekians now... well, not counting the fact that a certain SOMEONE slaughtered an entire village that wasn't brought back."

At this Vegeta shoots the heiress a large mischievous grin, playfully baring his fangs. Yamcha tensed.

Bulma smiled at the saiyan, making her boyfriend from the shadows frown. "Gee Vegeta, you are so full of questions lately."

The saiyan prince shrugged. "Your planet is unlike any other I have visited."

Bulma grinned. "So you like it here?"

"Well," Vegeta blushed slightly, trying to amend his mistake, "I have never stayed long enough on other planets to observe their culture."

She ignored that comment. "You must have seen some pretty weird stuff out there, huh?"

Vegeta opened his mouth to reply, but then looked up and glared at the dark silhouette in the shadows, the first time noticing the other presence.

"Yamcha!" Bulma turned around and flew into her boyfriend's arms, and behind her Vegeta growled and glared coldly at the ex-bandit.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Don't worry babe, I just got here."

"I'm going to train," Vegeta snapped, standing up and stalking angrily from the table, leaving the couple staring quizzically at his retreating back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello all! Okay, as much as I admit DBZ has so many messes up stuff, most of them are from after 'those three years' when Veggie had already gotten used to Earth. Anyone have any ideas and/or questions that I can use here? Thanks, R&R! **

"What was that all about?"

Bulma turned around, a questioning eyebrow raised. "What?"

"You and Vegeta." Yamcha took a sip of the coffee that his girlfriend had set in a mug in front of him.

"He was asking me questions."

"Since when," the ex-bandit tapped his chin, "does Vegeta ask questions?"

The heiress smiled. "Well, since he got caught on camera flying. You went to the desert to train, so I doubt you have seen it..."

Yamcha frowned. "Idon't like the idea of the twp of you spending so much time together."

Bulma opened her mouth to reply, but then stopped as she heard a door slam. Vegeta stalked into the room and gave her a ghost of a smile. But when his eyes fell on Yamcha he gave the human a low growl.

If Bulma had heard Vegeta's growl, she didn't show it. "Hey, would you like to join us? Lunch would be ready soon, so there's no point in going back to train or anything."

The saiyan gave Yamcha a dark look, but sat down at the table anyways.

And in a completely unbelievable and unpredictable gesture, Vegeta swiped the newspaper off the table and flipped it open.

Yamcha couldn't tell what was worse-Vegeta reading the news, or Bulma acting like it was perfectly normal behavior and joining him.

"Heh, look at this guy. He's wearing a straw hat and a business suit! Why would anyone do that?" Bulma pointed out a picture.

"Tch, hn," Vegeta agreed.

"This man," he gestured to another photo, "why does he possess the head of a dog yet the body of a human? From your historical records, he would have been deemed a mythical creature, such as a Griffin or a Minatour."

Yamcha blinked. Vegeta read history books?

"And," the saiyan continued bewildered, "why does his 'pet', of most notably the same species as he, have the normal body of a dog instead, and inferior intelligence?"

Bulma giggled. "Maybe the dog is just pretending to be dumb. I mean, as a pet, it can be taken care of, get food and a nice comfy home without working. If it reveals it's superior intelligence, it might have to go get a job!"

"Just like a certain someone I know, eh?" The blue-haired scientist nudged Vegeta.

"Woman, I am more than capable of providing for myself. It would just be rude if I didn't accept your... offer of residence since you were pratically begging me to come over." Vegeta smirked.

"You wouldn't know manners if it bit you in the ass!" Bulma retorted.

Yamcha blinked again. Were they...flirting?! While he was sitting there?!

He coughed.

"Another scandal? Can't these celebrities get a break? Of course, I'm a celebrity, but I'd never do that! Eww..." Bulma fake-gagged.

Yamcha rapped his knuckles against the table.

"Why would humans cheat on their mate? In that case, why even get a mate? Aren't they for life?" Vegeta questioned.

"Well, humans have some sort of... pre-mating thing called dating. It's like... sort of a trial mate thing temporarily. Well, if it works out, then they would decide to get married, or mate as you saiyans call it." Bulma explained.

"Um... Bulma babe?"

Bulma turned around to face Yamcha, and blinked in surprise as if she had forgotten that Yamcha had been there all these while. "Oh hey Yamcha. Anything you need?"

Yamcha's jaw dropped. "Anything I need? You forgot I was here!"

"No I didn't," Bulma replied, slightly guilty. Behind her, Vegeta stuck his tongue out at the ex-bandit.

The human's eyes bugged out and pointed an accusing finger at the saiyan prince, but Bulma saw that he had returned to the paper, and gave her boyfriend a questioning look.


	6. Chapter 6

**This time, Bulma has some questions. Thank you NinjaWhisper for your idea! I also added a new cover, i drew it myself. Let me know what you think! :)**

"'Geta?" Bulma stirred the hot coffee in her cup with a spoon as she watched the saiyan inhale the spread of food her mother had oh-so graciously prepared for "the young and strong handsome mr. Vegeta -oh what am I saying? i'm a married woman!"

The saiyan paused from his eating, reaching out for a napkin to wipe the edges of his mouth before glancing at Bulma questioningly. The heiress cracked a smile-Vegeta, although with an appetite as big as Goku's, had much better manners than the younger saiyan.

"What?" He asked gruffly, not appreciating the fact she had interrupted his meal.

"I was thinking... how come you can speak english so fluently? Do they speak that language in outer space too?"

"Scouter," Vegeta muttered, tapping his left ear before shoving several strips of bacon into his mouth.

"Then..." Bulma rubbed her chin, "how come the namekians back on Planet Namek could speak english too? They don't have scouters."

Vegeta looked up and thought for a while.

Bulma continued, "and the other aliens too. Like the inhabitants of the planet Goku crash-landed on after Namek's explosion... Is english some sort of universal language or something?"

Vegeta furrowed his brows as he concentrated. "Each race has it's own language, but there is a universal tongue that everyone understands. However... it is not english, but the Galatic-Standard, which is not at all similar."

Bulma pouted. "That doesn't answer my question. How could everyone we meet speak our language?"

The saiyan shrugged. "How should I know?"

The heiress took a small bite out of her apple and sighed.

Vegeta stared at her pointedly. "Is that all you're eating, woman?"

Bulma nodded. "Vegeta, I'm on a diet."

The saiyan frowned. Why one would starve themselves on purpose, for the sake of losing a few pounds, was beyond him. Back on Frieza's base he could hardly get enough food weekly to sustain a rat, and here this woman was ignoring three full meals a day. She could starve! Wait... why did he care? He didn't. The woman was annoying and her only use was fixing the gravity room. If she died out of hunger, it wouldn't affect him in any way, right? Of course. Yet...He sighed and pushed a plate of eggrolls towards Bulma. "Eat," he commanded.

She opened her mouth to protest, but seeing the insistent look on the saiyan's face she popped an eggroll into her mouth and chewed slowly. Vegeta nodded slightly, pleased, and continued eating.

Bulma thought for a while-there was one question she had been wondering about since she found out Goku was a saiyan-after the initial excitement had died out, of course, and she wanted to share it with Vegeta to see if it made sense. After all, he was bound to know more than she did on this subject, right?

"Hey, do you think we have a common ancestor?"

Vegeta choked on his noodles. "What?!"

"Humans and saiyans." Bulma looked up thoughtfully. "I mean, we have to be genetically similar to quite a large extent to be able to procreate, as evident by Gohan. Our races also share a lot of physical differences, aside from the tail of course. Goku was able to blend in as a human without it-Chi Chi told me the doctors never said that anything was out of the ordinary with him."

"That," Vegeta stated, "would be highly improbable. Your theory makes sense, but we live on entirely different planets." He, however, sounded doubtful.

"Oh come on, just think," Bulma perked up, "how can two races from different planets at opposite ends of the galaxy, have such a similar genetic makeup?"

Vegeta bit his lip. "Um... luck?"

Bulma laughed. "Luck? Really Vegeta. That's like saying thet kid from the future is your son!" **(A/N: BWAHAHAHA)**

Vegeta shuddered. That possibility, as much as he hated to admit it, was not as far as he liked it to be. That future kid could turn into a super saiyan, which means he must have had saiyan blood. Of course, he could be a descendant of Kakarot, but his hair...

"Anyways, saiyans and humans must have been related some point or another. Maybe long ago, some saiyans crash landed on Earth or sonething and because of the docile environment here, lost their ki abilities or something. I dunno, it seems a lot more likely than just pure chance." Bulma blabbed.

The saiyan prince shrugged. "Woman, you talk too much."

Bulma stuck out her tongue. "Get used to it."

Vegeta poked her in the stomach. "I don't get this... diet thing."

Bulma placed her hand over her mouth to keep fron giggling as Vegeta poked her again. "St-stop that."

He raised an eyebrow, and with a mischievous smirk, continued to poke her. Bulma squirmed in her seat trying to wriggle her way out but the saiyan grabbed her by the waist and tickled her ribs.

"Geta, st-stop th-haha oh gosh VegeTA!" Bulma squealed and almost fell off her chair, but Vegeta caught her midfall.

He lifted her up back onto her chair, but neither let go of each other. Their faces were close, noses almost touching, and Bulma felt a heated blush come up to her face. She opened her mouth to say something, was cut off by a knock on the door.

"I'll... go get it," she says, suddenly breathless, and Vegeta nods and reluctantly releases her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Merry Christmas, Mortals!**

**We had a really late Xmas celebration party so I was too tired to post yesterday... hehe. My Uncle kept playing God songs and we spent all night listening to some guy sing "Jesus oh Jesus". R&R!**

"WOMAN! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

Bulma took a nylon string out of her mouth to tie a glittering red ball to the door frame. "WHAT?!" She yelled back, slightly irritated. Her parents-more specifically, her mother, had went Christmas shopping and she was given the pressurizing role of decorating the house. The tree-undoubtedly the easiest task, her mother insisted, was to be decorated as a family, which left her this meaningless job-stringing coloured balls from the ceiling so her tall guests-or perhaps short guests with unnaturally tall spikey hair, could hit their heads against the dangling ornaments.

Perhaps that was what irked the little prince today. Then again, Bulma had only just started the living room and had not gotten to the GR yet, where she was sure Vegeta was heading towards...

...then again, this also meant her mother could have done something to it without her knowledge. Said person stormed in. "Woman! What did you do to the gravity room?!"

Bulma shrugged. "Nothing."

Vegeta grabbed the shiny ball out of her hands and shoved it in front of her face. "This! It's covered every inch of my GR!"

She stifled a giggle at the saiyan's frustrated and confused face. "They're Christmas decorations, Vegeta. And my mum probably left them, not me."

Still, te saiyan prince's glare did not subside. Bulma rolled her eyes, "it's not hazardous, Vegeta. They just make the house look pretty."

"Ridiculous... useless Earth.. things," the saiyan muttered.

Bulma giggled. Vegeta was always amusing, angry or not. "It's to celebrate a holiday called Christmas."

The saiyan glanced towards the pine tree in the middle of the room questioningly. "Is there a reason why a plant is in the room?"

Bulma nodded. "It's tradition to leave presents under the Christmas tree. But we haven't decorated it yet."

The saiyan said nothing, but glared at the offending tree with a look that would have withered a lesser tree-but alas pines were quite hardy plants.

"Can I... have the ball back?" Bulma asked.

Vegeta growled and examined the ornament in his fist. "This is... what is this?!"

At this point Bulma abandoned her initial job and stalked over to Vegeta. She glanced at the red ball over his shoulder and giggled. "That is Santa Claus, 'Geta."

The prince growled softly at the nickname, but his curiosity took over. "Santa?"

"Yup. He watched you to see if you're naughty or nice, and on Christmas eve he comes into our houses through the chimney and eats the cookies and milk we lay out for him, and later on he leaves presents under the tree."

Vegeta stiffened at the thought of an intruder.

Bulma caught his look. "Woah there, chill. Santa's just a fairytale. He's not real."

Vegeta relaxed and raised an eyebrow in amusement. "You mean to tell me you humans worship some imaginary fat man in red that stalks and watches you, breaks into your house and invades your privacy, eats your food, just because he leaves you presents?"

Bulma opened her mouth to retort, but broke into a fit of laughter. She had never really thought of it that way before-and the way he put it did seem ridiculous and pointless. Anyways Vegeta had a point.

"Yea, I guess so... I mean I never thought of it that way before..." She imagined Santa in a dark suit with lock picking tools robbing cookies, and giggled.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "How is it you humans can come up with the silliest of traditions?"

"Well, Vegeta, then I guess you wouldn't want to hear another one of our "silly" traditions..." Bulma let her voice trail off meaningfully as she glanced above her head, to see the both of them standing under a very familiar plant.

"Oh? Why is that," Vegeta raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we hang up these little plants called mistletoe all over the house, and when two people are caught underneath it at the same time they kiss. It could be just a peck on the cheek of lips between friends and family, or something more... passionate."

Vegeta chuckled. "That's silly. What does this... mistletoe look like?"

For some unknown reason Bulma blushed, and looked above her. "Like that."

Vegeta looked up and, realizing what she meant, turned crimson.

In a move she didn't expect, Vegeta grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him, crushing his lips on hers. Bulma's eyes widened in shock but kissed back almost eagerly, unsure of her own actions. Vegeta kissed with rough passion but his lips were soft and sweet, and Bulma sank into his embrace, forgetting all about a certain someone a.k.a. her boyfriend... (Uh Oh)

They broke apart after the longest -and admittedly the best- ten seconds of Vegeta's life, both flushed crimson. Bulma retreated upstairs and Vegeta locked himself in the gravity room to cool down-just before Mr. and Mrs. Briefs entered the room and, to Bunny's dismay, found everything undecorated.


End file.
